Sunday, January 9, 2011

On a much happier note...

So, Christmas is over and it's officially the new year. Welcome to 2011. Woot.

As an annual requirement of existence I will now share my list of resolutions in order of their likelihood of surviving the month:
1) Stop laughing obscenely loudly at inappropriate times/ things.
     -Replace behavior with: quiet snickering that can be transformed into a cough if necessary
2) Learn how to recognize inappropriate times/ things, I will accomplish this by studying the speeches of Sarah Palin as everything she says is inappropriate.
     -She has that new show right? On TLC? This should be easy...
3) Stop referencing my pet fiddler crabs in Wal-mart as 'our crabs' just to see the reaction from the old bag wearing the leopard print behind us in line. (Honey did we pick up stuff for our crabs this month?)
4) Read more. The TV Guide menu doesn't count... Neither does the scrolling sign that is visible from the McDonald's drive thru.
5) Only spend money on things we need. Condoms, milk duds, and the fourth season of Big Love. No more spending money on non-essentials like gym memberships, hair cuts, and foods that give me gas.

Ah I feel better already. This is going to be a great year!

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